In a recent conversation on The New York Times Events Live at Home series, Priya Parker discusses an article I wrote on marking the original wedding date of a postponed wedding through simple ritual. Priya chats with guest, Elaine Welteroth, about the ways she and her fiancé completely reimagined their nuptials to pull off a wedding that was physically distant while still gathering their loved ones close.

One day last week I was settled in at my desk at the crack of dawn, when I would normally still be deep in slumber. I’d been invited by CBC radio to participate in a series of rolling interviews with morning shows across the country. The interviews centered around grief and mourning during the time of a pandemic. If you’re in the habit of reading the obituaries, you may have noticed that most families are opting to make funeral arrangements ‘at a later date when we can physically gather’. I was on the air to emphasize that just because we can’t physically gather right now in the ways that we normally would, it doesn’t mean we should do nothing right now.

Two years ago today, May 6, 2018, I officiated my first end-of-life ceremony. It was an intimate backyard gathering, marking the two-year anniversary of a death. As with all of the memorial ceremonies that I’ve led since then, I got to know the deceased in her death. These are the lessons I learned from the friend I never had.

To all the people who have had to postpone celebrations due to COVID-19, I offer you my deepest condolences. The big day you’ve looked forward to for months or years is now not as close as originally planned. For 'soonlyweds', you both know that you will still be getting married at some point down the road, so you may try to tell yourselves that it’s not such a big deal. It’s just another date in the calendar, right? Wrong.

This was to be a significant milestone in your journey. You bet this is a big deal. I've written some ideas on how ritual can help couples honour their original wedding dates with meaning, intention and connection, rather than pure dread.

As humans, we crave meaning, connection and community. Done well, ritual and ceremony offer us all of these, while integrating transition and equipping us for the next stage of our life journey.